So I met someone I thought myself in love with. Why would I think that when I have never felt worthy of any kind of love from a man. I have friends and family that tell me I'm attractive but for some reason men dont see what they see. I think its because they love who I am and they are supportive of what type of person I am. I love my friends and family for that. But anyway back to what i was saying I met someone who doesnt like my outer appearance but he loves me as a person. I dont want that I want the person who is interested in me to be attracted to me. I know im not the best looking person but there has to be something about my outer that makes up for all of the outer. I really am not going to say I dont care about him but i feel like he is pulling away from me now because even though he feels like I am what he needs I know that I am not what he wants. For me that is the worst thing for someone to tell you because then you always feel like you are not good enough. I dont want to be around someone who makes me feel like I am lucky to be with them. Shouldnt they feel like they are happy to be with me and vice versa. I shouldnt feel like I am lucky to be with them and they shouldnt feel like they are lucky to be with me. It should just be a mutual happiness that the person brings to you. I have cried and screamed and died slowly from the inside dealing with this man because I care about him so much and I have never felt for anyone how i feel for him and it hurts so much that Im not good enough for him and why because he is not perfect. I think its time for me to move on because I can tell things have changed. I just wish that I didnt feel like crap about it. I have always been able to guard my heart with these types of things but I did open up to him and now im crushed. Stupid me for believing that someone could actually care for me. I guess my prediction from early in life was correct ...I am meant to be alone. I guess you can say right now that I am broken hearted but what can I do I think I am just not even gonna try anymore. I am so tired of men not looking at me as anything of value. Im done!
