A New Day

I never thought that my life would turn out the way that it is now. I always thought that I would be better than I was. You know never being the popular girl in school but always wanting to fit in. So I heard that when your life is so bad as a child that it gets better and so far I am still having the same trouble that I had as a child. I havent turned into the swan and maybe thats just what the problem is I dont know but I do know that I dont like the fact that I cant be this great person that makes a change in some way where I can tell all the people who ever treated me like crap ha! look at me now. Instead its almost like I am proving them right. The problem is I dont know where to start. I dont know how to change or evolve or become someone who is not scared to be me. Dont get me wrong there are some great things in my life like my family and my nephew ecspecially. I have some good friends who I can actually get along with as long as i dont live with them. I have been down that road before and i dont think i can go there again. I have a job that i actually like but i would much rather work in music if its all the same to life. I just want to do something where i can wake up everymorning and go yea! i get to go to work. I just got a raise so maybe that should be incentive enough lol. who knows. I wanted to post some othere blogs that I started on another website but I cant seem to find them so whenever I get a chance I will find them and just post them on here. Peace and blessings.