From day to day I am living my life with nothing to look forward to.
Don't get me wrong I thank God for all that I have but I want more unfortunately.
I want a career that I love and that I can wake up every day and say yea! I get to go to work
I want a friend that doesn't expect anything from me but for me to be myself and love those quirks and the not so good about me.
I want to look forward to each day as a day to say yes! This is me and I am here and my heart is full from people who love me, but I am alone, I have no true friends and I thought that was OK and at first it was but I need to stop looking for approval from people cause people cant make me who I am.
But this is life right? Cause not everyone has friends and not everyone can make it day to day and this is my life and this is my pain and this is what I deal with and I know its sad but bare with me there is more.
I thought no one liked me because of my internal pain because when I walked by everyone could see my scars.
Blaming those who did me wrong before was my way of dealing with my internal demons.
But I was wrong, no one can see my tears on the inside.
No one knows my battles and though I should let the lord take control I cant seem to give him everything.
So I am stuck in this cycle that I have put myself into since I was a child and so I'm here living day to day with no reason to look forward to tomorrow.
I want my life to be in a different place.
I don't want this day to day stuff taking control of me.
I want to be this great person that no one forgets.
I know that I put to much into what people think of me but doesn't everyone.
I mean because you have the money you can change your nose and because you have the money you can hire a cook to make healthy food so that you can look like these thin models that you see on T.V. because you think that's what everyone else wants to see in you.
How do I change my way of thinking when the media and people around me want me to look like them and how can I be proud of me and my accomplishments when I am never encouraged to be me but to be someone else.
So yea, I want to be great because anything less is not excepted.
Feel for me because I am being subdued and someone else's dreams will emerge from my being.
No love for me just love for what they need me to be and this is my life day to day. Can you feel me?
Don't get me wrong I thank God for all that I have but I want more unfortunately.
I want a career that I love and that I can wake up every day and say yea! I get to go to work
I want a friend that doesn't expect anything from me but for me to be myself and love those quirks and the not so good about me.
I want to look forward to each day as a day to say yes! This is me and I am here and my heart is full from people who love me, but I am alone, I have no true friends and I thought that was OK and at first it was but I need to stop looking for approval from people cause people cant make me who I am.
But this is life right? Cause not everyone has friends and not everyone can make it day to day and this is my life and this is my pain and this is what I deal with and I know its sad but bare with me there is more.
I thought no one liked me because of my internal pain because when I walked by everyone could see my scars.
Blaming those who did me wrong before was my way of dealing with my internal demons.
But I was wrong, no one can see my tears on the inside.
No one knows my battles and though I should let the lord take control I cant seem to give him everything.
So I am stuck in this cycle that I have put myself into since I was a child and so I'm here living day to day with no reason to look forward to tomorrow.
I want my life to be in a different place.
I don't want this day to day stuff taking control of me.
I want to be this great person that no one forgets.
I know that I put to much into what people think of me but doesn't everyone.
I mean because you have the money you can change your nose and because you have the money you can hire a cook to make healthy food so that you can look like these thin models that you see on T.V. because you think that's what everyone else wants to see in you.
How do I change my way of thinking when the media and people around me want me to look like them and how can I be proud of me and my accomplishments when I am never encouraged to be me but to be someone else.
So yea, I want to be great because anything less is not excepted.
Feel for me because I am being subdued and someone else's dreams will emerge from my being.
No love for me just love for what they need me to be and this is my life day to day. Can you feel me?
No comments:
Post a Comment