Lost and Found

Ok I have a tagged page and my ID is lyricalqt.tagged.com. I used to go on there all of the time until my computer broke. I usually don't do dating websites but I figured since I have no life why not meet some interesting men...right? Wrong! I should have never wasted my time. Some of the men on that site are so crazy it is almost scary but I guess you really can't expect more from a dating website. I was thinking maybe I should look for a man since I can't get any to approach me but that was my mistake because doesn't the word say that a MAN that findeth a wife findeth a good thing. I kept thinking why cant my man find me already! I am trying to wait for my husband before I have sex again but let me tell you about frustration...I haven't caved in but since there hasn't been an abundance of men at my door I really haven't been tested. I am 27 and I have had 2 men in my life, let me rephrase that I have had 1 man and 1 boy in my life and middle school doesn't really count. :) Maybe all of the romance novels I read have put thoughts into my head that are impossible or maybe God forgot to design someone for me or maybe the one God designed for me has decided that he is gay...it happens. I honestly don't know what to think but each year I am alone, more crazy thoughts come to my head. This year it was...maybe the man God designed for me doesn't find me attractive, but that's crazy right, because if God designed someone for me then he would find me attractive. I'm so scared to be alone for the rest of my life that I even thought about talking to the next man that comes my way and just having his kids and getting married and all of that stuff but then I think about all of those fears I have about not loving the man I'm with and I quickly change my mind. If I had to pick a theme song for how I feel right now it would be Lost & Found by Ledisi and here are the words...

Always alone someone come for me

Here on my own feels like the pain lasts an eternityTears come no more I wanna smile againLove againPlease someone find me Souls pass me by why can't they see me hereTouch me one time, just like magic I will re-appearSadness like the rain it showers over meI wanna feel againPlease someone find meLost not yet found, breathing in miseryHope looks around when will the sun ever shine on me?I need love to come and carry meTake me awayPlease someone find me I'll sing my song, maybe I'll scream and shoutPlease someone come I don't wanna live without loveHear my plea I have love to give I wanna livePlease someone find me.

You know I really can't decide which thing scares me the most, living without love or loving and losing my heart.