A New Day

I never thought that my life would turn out the way that it is now. I always thought that I would be better than I was. You know never being the popular girl in school but always wanting to fit in. So I heard that when your life is so bad as a child that it gets better and so far I am still having the same trouble that I had as a child. I havent turned into the swan and maybe thats just what the problem is I dont know but I do know that I dont like the fact that I cant be this great person that makes a change in some way where I can tell all the people who ever treated me like crap ha! look at me now. Instead its almost like I am proving them right. The problem is I dont know where to start. I dont know how to change or evolve or become someone who is not scared to be me. Dont get me wrong there are some great things in my life like my family and my nephew ecspecially. I have some good friends who I can actually get along with as long as i dont live with them. I have been down that road before and i dont think i can go there again. I have a job that i actually like but i would much rather work in music if its all the same to life. I just want to do something where i can wake up everymorning and go yea! i get to go to work. I just got a raise so maybe that should be incentive enough lol. who knows. I wanted to post some othere blogs that I started on another website but I cant seem to find them so whenever I get a chance I will find them and just post them on here. Peace and blessings.

Boring Me

Ok So I am at work not wanting to do any work so I decided to start a blog. This will really give me something to do on our slow days. My brother just left on Wed to be at his next destination which really bummed me out because as much as he gets on my nerves I miss him alot when he is gone. Plus the military is so unpredictable I pray everyday that they dont send him back to Iraq. Plus my nephew who seems to have this weird attraction to his auntie only wants to smile and talk to me when I am far away and I call him my tenka baby lol. Dont know what thats all about. When I go to hold him he wants absolutely nothing to do with me. I love him anyway. I dont know what makes me want to do this and put most of my bussiness out there for people to see after all if anyone cares to know about my life they may read what I have to say all the time. Anyway I hope that anyone who comes across this blog has a blessed day and I want you to join in my prayers for my brother on a daily bases. The last time he was in Iraq it changed him for the worst. I pray he never has to go through that again.